someone owes me an orgasm
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
