So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
