Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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