im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
its liver damage thursday
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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