When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize