the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
