I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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