My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
