so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
