Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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