His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
