Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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