so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
