I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
