I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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