not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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