I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
