Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
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I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
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Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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