I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
