Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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