I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
