i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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