I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize