My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're so committed to being not committed
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize