we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
