fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
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I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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