and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I hope mine doesn't look like that
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
