just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
