I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I deserve this hangover.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.