Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
