Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
