just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
