Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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