HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
