apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
