Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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