last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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