OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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