Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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