For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
