we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize