We need to rekindle our bromance
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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