Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
