@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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