Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
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It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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