this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
