Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
