i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
