well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
