this just has baby written all over it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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