Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
