Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize