So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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