we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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