dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
