Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
