According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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