It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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