i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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